What a wonderful game, thank you for making it and I'm so sorry this happened to you. It really highlights consent and issues around it. Thanks so much.
Oh god, I am so, so sorry this happened to you...*hugs* It's so incredibly brave of you to make a game about your experience and sharing it. Wishing you all the best!
Holy shit, your (hopefully) ex-friend is a terrible person, if they couldn't see anything wrong with that. I felt vile playing that, and I'm so sorry you lived it. I didn't want to see the other ending, of the not respecting boundaries, I can't get over the fact this person could live with themselves after this? I read the other comments, about how you got barraged by hate commenters, and rape apologists, and I'm so sorry, truly that must make this feel worse, even after all this happened. I'm deeply glad you found better friends and a therapist who wanted the best for you.
Oh wow...this game helps bring light to a situation of my past that I felt was a loss due to me not...protecting myself well enough...? For not speaking up on what I wanted. Pretending I was fine when I was asked certain things...I too felt shoxked by Simon I thought was a friend...and now I have such strong feeling of disgust towards her...Especially when she had the nerve to talk about what happened, I felt so embarrassed when getting news of it being spoken to someone in my school. Talking about it as though it was nothing, when it was a horrible situation for me, I still feel affected everyone I think of that night...but it seems none of them understand the mild trauma it gave me. Like shit, I can relate to a lot of these feeling of dissassociation, and hiding the pain and sadness....I don't know what it is that makes us go along with what they want...
And that part where it asks, did they cum? "You didn't ask"..."they were in too much pain"...etc...like I really felt that, I didn't think about how I wasn't asked these things either...It makes me want to cry thinking about it.
Sorry for the rambling, I just feel...some acknowledgement from this...that how I feel after that *is* valid, and is a form of rape and lack of concent. Thank you for giving me that..♡
I mean, the last thing I should've done was played this game due to a lot of stuff that has happened to me.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this and that there are many like us that go through things like this. The disassociation hit me harder than I expected it to.
Regardless, this is a beautiful game. I don't know you but I'm so proud of you. You've made something amazing, shared your story, and you've grown. I haven't managed to do those things yet. As cheesy as it sounds, you're an inspiration.
First of all, I'm so so so sorry you had to live such a terrible experience. I can't even begin to imagine how damaging it is, how terrible to remember, how wounding... I can only relate to the paralysis felt in a particular moment, to the self-doubting, to the fear and the tension, and that is but a fraction of it.
Then again, I do want to congratulate you on rebuilding your life. I'm really impressed and humbled at the massive amount of work you must have done to place trust in anyone again. To trust yourself, even if you were the victim. To trust your friends, who were trying to open your eyes. To trust anyone else in general... Seriously, hats off to you.
Lastly, I want to give you a massive thank you for sharing your experience. I won't pretend or claim to understand what it feels like, but at least now I have a glimpse. An extremely valuable reminder for the future.
Hope this masterpiece reaches a lot of people. This is a topic that isn't discussed enough.
Thank you so much, what a thoughtful and touching comment. I try not to think about this game too much anymore, because the memories it brings up are painful. Sometimes I think about deleting it so I don't have to see it, and occasionally I get hate mail from rape apologists (Yes, they really exist. My game got posted in an anti-consent forum, so they flooded it with bad reviews and filled my inbox with bile. One person was very angry that I linked my ko-fi account in the description??), but as long as this game has the potential to help others and shed light on the tricky area of grey consent and unacknowledged rape, then I will keep it up.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience and spreading awareness. No one should have to go through any type of sexual assault.
Games like this make me wish I had money to share with devs!
Thanks for giving us the opportunity to listen to what happened in an accessible format. It was grim but digestable and made a really clear dialogue. Consent is so important!
Thanks for the effort of creating this experience.
As I was playing it, I have remembered many moments of my life in which communication was failing. Many times I would have loved to be able to pause things, think carefully about what was happening.
You threw some light on these old confusing moments. Thank you.
I replayed the game multiple times, basically taking it in degrees - I started out by leaving Amy alone, and then my next time I left it alone after the hug, and so on and so forth. It was an unpleasant and impactful surprise when the player character continued to go forth anyway without me choosing for them to do so. It sort of emphasized the non-consensual atmosphere and made it go both ways, to Amy and to the player (although of course having a video game character not listen to my input is nowhere near the same experience as being raped).
I also just want to mention that the phrase "You can try to rape me again if you like" really drove it all home for me. It's one thing for a character I'm controlling to rape "someone" but it's on another level to rape "you," never mind making multiple attempts at it.
This is a really thoughtful comment, thank you so much for playing. I think you picked up on a lot of what I was hoping to achieve. There is a point where sexual assault has already happened, and after that it's no longer possible to get a 'good' ending. It's not supposed to be a pleasent game (but I'm hoping that future game attempts will be more light hearted!)
I was not prepared to have to explicitly choose all of this. For some reason the series of things just has my whole person going "Don't even think about, man! There might be a story there, but at why's cost?!"
Well. While I'm still not sure what would happen if I tried anything, Amy is safe in bed and sleeping contently.
(Aka. I couldn't bring myself to do that, even fictionally. : P)
Heh, this is something which is happening to my friends too. They are excited for my game but a lot of them have their own traumatic experiences so can't actually play it!
It's supposed to be hard to make these choices, so in a way I'm glad you're not finding it easy to play. You got the best ending, though, so go you! And thanks for the feedback.
As a game, this is great and it is thought provoking. My feelings on this are obviously going to be different from yours, though. Trying to fit in with your friend does not fit the definition of coercion. If you are uncomfortable in a situation it's your responsibility to bail. You did as much of a disservice to your friend by consenting, because some guys are not very adept at understanding body language and double meanings. When you say yes but you clearly mean no, that is going to be a huge problem for someone who already expressed to you that they have trouble with just this sort of thing!
Thanks for your feedback! Some clarifications: They were not a man. They did not express that they had any trouble with body language and double meanings. There is more to the story here, which the game doesn't get into. An example of a time when people say 'yes' to sexual contact which is coersive would be if there was abuse involved or fear of punishment in some form. I have been around people who make sure to get verbal consent (for non-sexual assault situations) through intimidation and fear, and then use that verbal 'consent' as a gaslighting tool.
I would categorise that friendship as abusive. This person knew exactly which boundaries to walk right up to, and which they could cross. I don't think they planned on me waking up. "uncomfortable in a situation" etc is a far cry from "woke up to sexual assault".
I would say that it is not always the responsibility of someone to bail when they are uncomfortable - purely because some people cannot bail when they are uncomfortable. There's a great book called 'Ask: Building consent culture" which talks about this, and a famous book about date rape called "I never called it rape" by Robin Warshaw which is based around this issue too. Recommended reading if consent is an issue you want to explore!
Thanks for playing though, this is great feedback and I'm glad that conversations about consent are happening around this game.
"Consent is a mutual verbal, physical, and emotional agreement that happens without manipulation, threats, or head games.
Consent is a whole body experience. It is not just a verbal “yes” or “no” – it involves paying attention to your partner as a person and checking in with physical and emotional cues as well.
Consent is also mutual (both people have to agree) and must be continuous. You can stop at any time, you can change your mind, and just because you said yes to one thing doesn’t mean you have consented to anything else."
Thanks for replying! You know, you make some really valid points and I feel really ill-equipped to debate this with you any further, nor would I want to because I now find myself thinking about this a lot differently. You seem to have devoted a lot of time not only to processing your experience but also evidently giving the subject a scholarly treatment. Thanks for making such an interesting and intruiging game, and for also taking the time to discuss the sensitive subject it covers.
No problem! I like having these kind of conversations and I'm always happy to talk about consent stuff. Thanks for taking the time to interact and leave your feedback, much appreciated.
Omg...I want to cry reading this....It's so strengthening for me.
"Consent is a whole body experience. It is not just a verbal “yes” or “no” – it involves paying attention to your partner as a person and checking in with physical and emotional cues as well." Okay some tears were shed...But it's because of feeling like "finally someone gets it" There was no consideration for you nor I in these real life circumstances we were placed in, and that's what draws hatred in me....Also, I find it odd how they were both (possible) girls from what you comment states...? Maybe I'm being too honest, but I feel like it with how you were so honest with so many here. And getting that recognition I seek on this backplaced memory that plagues my mind. Much love for you dear ♡, I will follow you for support.
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What a wonderful game, thank you for making it and I'm so sorry this happened to you. It really highlights consent and issues around it. Thanks so much.
Oh god, I am so, so sorry this happened to you...*hugs* It's so incredibly brave of you to make a game about your experience and sharing it. Wishing you all the best!
the hugs thing. It started whith that.
I'm terribly sorry that you had to go through this.
But it's really brave and admirable of you to turn such a terrible experience into a short game that can function as a teaching tool.
I hope things are better now, and i wish you all the love in the world. Stay strong!
I'm so so sorry you went through this. I hope you're doing better today.
Holy shit, your (hopefully) ex-friend is a terrible person, if they couldn't see anything wrong with that. I felt vile playing that, and I'm so sorry you lived it. I didn't want to see the other ending, of the not respecting boundaries, I can't get over the fact this person could live with themselves after this? I read the other comments, about how you got barraged by hate commenters, and rape apologists, and I'm so sorry, truly that must make this feel worse, even after all this happened. I'm deeply glad you found better friends and a therapist who wanted the best for you.
Well , hope whoever made this game is ok today
Oh wow...this game helps bring light to a situation of my past that I felt was a loss due to me not...protecting myself well enough...? For not speaking up on what I wanted. Pretending I was fine when I was asked certain things...I too felt shoxked by Simon I thought was a friend...and now I have such strong feeling of disgust towards her...Especially when she had the nerve to talk about what happened, I felt so embarrassed when getting news of it being spoken to someone in my school. Talking about it as though it was nothing, when it was a horrible situation for me, I still feel affected everyone I think of that night...but it seems none of them understand the mild trauma it gave me. Like shit, I can relate to a lot of these feeling of dissassociation, and hiding the pain and sadness....I don't know what it is that makes us go along with what they want...
And that part where it asks, did they cum? "You didn't ask"..."they were in too much pain"...etc...like I really felt that, I didn't think about how I wasn't asked these things either...It makes me want to cry thinking about it.
Sorry for the rambling, I just feel...some acknowledgement from this...that how I feel after that *is* valid, and is a form of rape and lack of concent. Thank you for giving me that..♡
I mean, the last thing I should've done was played this game due to a lot of stuff that has happened to me.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this and that there are many like us that go through things like this. The disassociation hit me harder than I expected it to.
Regardless, this is a beautiful game. I don't know you but I'm so proud of you. You've made something amazing, shared your story, and you've grown. I haven't managed to do those things yet. As cheesy as it sounds, you're an inspiration.
I created an account only to comment this.
First of all, I'm so so so sorry you had to live such a terrible experience. I can't even begin to imagine how damaging it is, how terrible to remember, how wounding... I can only relate to the paralysis felt in a particular moment, to the self-doubting, to the fear and the tension, and that is but a fraction of it.
Then again, I do want to congratulate you on rebuilding your life. I'm really impressed and humbled at the massive amount of work you must have done to place trust in anyone again. To trust yourself, even if you were the victim. To trust your friends, who were trying to open your eyes. To trust anyone else in general... Seriously, hats off to you.
Lastly, I want to give you a massive thank you for sharing your experience. I won't pretend or claim to understand what it feels like, but at least now I have a glimpse. An extremely valuable reminder for the future.
Hope this masterpiece reaches a lot of people. This is a topic that isn't discussed enough.
Thank you so much, what a thoughtful and touching comment. I try not to think about this game too much anymore, because the memories it brings up are painful. Sometimes I think about deleting it so I don't have to see it, and occasionally I get hate mail from rape apologists (Yes, they really exist. My game got posted in an anti-consent forum, so they flooded it with bad reviews and filled my inbox with bile. One person was very angry that I linked my ko-fi account in the description??), but as long as this game has the potential to help others and shed light on the tricky area of grey consent and unacknowledged rape, then I will keep it up.
I am so sorry this happened to you! If you ever need someone to talk to, please find me on twitter! @karlie.thereal
I'm sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience and spreading awareness. No one should have to go through any type of sexual assault.
I hope you are doing better and have a nice day.
Games like this make me wish I had money to share with devs!
Thanks for giving us the opportunity to listen to what happened in an accessible format. It was grim but digestable and made a really clear dialogue. Consent is so important!
Thank you for making and sharing this.
This sounds a lot like something that happened to me, and reading through it from an outside perspective was really cathartic.
You're brave for sharing this in this way. I'll get better too.
Thank you for making this "game" or maybe.. Thank you for sharing your experience..
I hope you have recovered well enough to live happily once again.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this experience with me.
I am living a very full and happy life.
Thanks for the effort of creating this experience.
As I was playing it, I have remembered many moments of my life in which communication was failing. Many times I would have loved to be able to pause things, think carefully about what was happening.
You threw some light on these old confusing moments. Thank you.
I replayed the game multiple times, basically taking it in degrees - I started out by leaving Amy alone, and then my next time I left it alone after the hug, and so on and so forth. It was an unpleasant and impactful surprise when the player character continued to go forth anyway without me choosing for them to do so. It sort of emphasized the non-consensual atmosphere and made it go both ways, to Amy and to the player (although of course having a video game character not listen to my input is nowhere near the same experience as being raped).
I also just want to mention that the phrase "You can try to rape me again if you like" really drove it all home for me. It's one thing for a character I'm controlling to rape "someone" but it's on another level to rape "you," never mind making multiple attempts at it.
This is a really thoughtful comment, thank you so much for playing. I think you picked up on a lot of what I was hoping to achieve. There is a point where sexual assault has already happened, and after that it's no longer possible to get a 'good' ending. It's not supposed to be a pleasent game (but I'm hoping that future game attempts will be more light hearted!)
Thanks for your feedback!
I was not prepared to have to explicitly choose all of this. For some reason the series of things just has my whole person going "Don't even think about, man! There might be a story there, but at why's cost?!"
Well. While I'm still not sure what would happen if I tried anything, Amy is safe in bed and sleeping contently.
(Aka. I couldn't bring myself to do that, even fictionally. : P)
Heh, this is something which is happening to my friends too. They are excited for my game but a lot of them have their own traumatic experiences so can't actually play it!
It's supposed to be hard to make these choices, so in a way I'm glad you're not finding it easy to play. You got the best ending, though, so go you! And thanks for the feedback.
That got intense; nice game well done!
Thank you so much!
As a game, this is great and it is thought provoking. My feelings on this are obviously going to be different from yours, though. Trying to fit in with your friend does not fit the definition of coercion. If you are uncomfortable in a situation it's your responsibility to bail. You did as much of a disservice to your friend by consenting, because some guys are not very adept at understanding body language and double meanings. When you say yes but you clearly mean no, that is going to be a huge problem for someone who already expressed to you that they have trouble with just this sort of thing!
Thanks for your feedback! Some clarifications: They were not a man. They did not express that they had any trouble with body language and double meanings. There is more to the story here, which the game doesn't get into. An example of a time when people say 'yes' to sexual contact which is coersive would be if there was abuse involved or fear of punishment in some form. I have been around people who make sure to get verbal consent (for non-sexual assault situations) through intimidation and fear, and then use that verbal 'consent' as a gaslighting tool.
I would categorise that friendship as abusive. This person knew exactly which boundaries to walk right up to, and which they could cross. I don't think they planned on me waking up. "uncomfortable in a situation" etc is a far cry from "woke up to sexual assault".
I would say that it is not always the responsibility of someone to bail when they are uncomfortable - purely because some people cannot bail when they are uncomfortable. There's a great book called 'Ask: Building consent culture" which talks about this, and a famous book about date rape called "I never called it rape" by Robin Warshaw which is based around this issue too. Recommended reading if consent is an issue you want to explore!
Thanks for playing though, this is great feedback and I'm glad that conversations about consent are happening around this game.
Oh also! You might benefit from looking at the definitions of consent and coercion on this website: https://www.yesmeansyes.com/consent
"Consent is a mutual verbal, physical, and emotional agreement that happens without manipulation, threats, or head games.
Consent is a whole body experience. It is not just a verbal “yes” or “no” – it involves paying attention to your partner as a person and checking in with physical and emotional cues as well.
Consent is also mutual (both people have to agree) and must be continuous. You can stop at any time, you can change your mind, and just because you said yes to one thing doesn’t mean you have consented to anything else."
Thanks for replying! You know, you make some really valid points and I feel really ill-equipped to debate this with you any further, nor would I want to because I now find myself thinking about this a lot differently. You seem to have devoted a lot of time not only to processing your experience but also evidently giving the subject a scholarly treatment. Thanks for making such an interesting and intruiging game, and for also taking the time to discuss the sensitive subject it covers.
No problem! I like having these kind of conversations and I'm always happy to talk about consent stuff. Thanks for taking the time to interact and leave your feedback, much appreciated.
Omg...I want to cry reading this....It's so strengthening for me.
"Consent is a whole body experience. It is not just a verbal “yes” or “no” – it involves paying attention to your partner as a person and checking in with physical and emotional cues as well." Okay some tears were shed...But it's because of feeling like "finally someone gets it" There was no consideration for you nor I in these real life circumstances we were placed in, and that's what draws hatred in me....Also, I find it odd how they were both (possible) girls from what you comment states...? Maybe I'm being too honest, but I feel like it with how you were so honest with so many here. And getting that recognition I seek on this backplaced memory that plagues my mind. Much love for you dear ♡, I will follow you for support.